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Overcoming Rejection

First, let's analyze the event:

The girl refused to give her phone number, email address, etc. Why? Because she wasn't interested.

The guy requested but was denied the opportunity to pursue a relationship with her. He then chose to leave the party, abandoning any further possibilities of meeting someone else that night. Why did he do that, if meeting someone was important to him? He concluded, based on that one event, that his goal of meeting anyone at that party was unattainable.

What do you think he told himself about that event?

Here is a possible dialogue:

"She turned me down because I'm just not attractive enough."
"I'm always going to be rejected by the women I find most appealing."
"I get the same response from all the women I talk to."

When someone abruptly gives up on an attempt to relate to someone else, it always has to do with the internal dialogue surrounding three important parameters:

  1. Personalization-Is she the one with the problem or is it me?
  2. Permanence-Is this just temporary or is this going to last forever?
  3. Pervasiveness-Does this reflect just her attitude or that of all women?

Feeling rejected requires that you explain relationship events in a pessimistic fashion:

  • First, you must tell yourself that you are at fault.
  • Second, you must tell yourself that it will always be this way.
  • Third, you must tell yourself that it represents the opinion of all women that you want to pursue, not just one.

When any combination of these thoughts begin to take hold in your mind, you are most likely to give up, at least temporarily, on your pursuit of a relationship. If you are someone who also holds little hope of finding that special someone, it is possible that you will give up trying for long periods of time, or permanently.

Finding and building relationships is a process that never ends. Regardless of who you are, you can have a life full of satisfying relationships, simply by adopting an optimistic attitude and adjusting your inner dialogue so that your words sustain, rather than diminish, your efforts.

If you have determined that overcoming rejection has been the stumbling block for you in building relationships, sign up to receive an effective method for staying in the game.

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