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Barriers to Communication

Ways to eliminate communication barriers:

Awareness is the key- Start by analyzing how you tend to talk to your partner. Imagine what it would feel like if your partner talked that way to you.

Check your attitude. Do you hold your partner in high regard? Once you change your attitude, you'll find that it is much easier to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. This one decision will save countless hours of arguments.

Focus instead on the principle of Win-Win. When a conversation turns into an argument about "rightness and wrongness" it is important to step away from that form of "positional" trench warfare.

You always have four options when it comes to answering someone else's accusation that you have verbally "wronged them":

  1. Tell them it's their fault- Well, go ahead and prepare for battle. You really like fighting, don't you?
  2. Deny that you are wrong- This will also guarantee an escalation in verbal combat. Not only will your partner still believe that you are wrong, he or she will become irritated with you because you don't have the decency to "fess up". You should avoid this defensive position.
  3. Admit that you are wrong (whether you really are or not) -This should only be done if you are certain that you are in the wrong. Why is confessing not always a good idea? Your partner doesn't want you to confess as much as he or she wants you to understand them. By copping a plea, you strip them of the opportunity to explain how they feel and more importantly, tell you what they want from you. If you must admit guilt, make sure that your explanation as to why you're wrong is world class; otherwise your partner will feel justified in bringing it up at your next "trial", which will occur sooner than you think.
  4. Acknowledge that what you said "could have" caused a misunderstanding- This is your strongest option because it will almost always defuse an otherwise volatile situation.

Listen empathically by understanding and focusing- This flows naturally when you adopt an attitude of compassion. You'll be more able to determine the underlying meanings and you'll know how to facilitate cooperation on a deeper level.

You can easily eliminate the barriers to communication by discovering how you relate to your partner. Make the commitment to implement a more effective style, such as empathy. You will be rewarded quickly and dramatically if you do this.

Don't let your love life become a game you just can't win. Increase your chances of getting your ex back by using a complete system.

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